4 years wed, 5 weeks pregnant

Howdy folks,

I haven’t really known what to say here of late. I’m at that really stressful inbetweeny phase that is essentially just a second two week wait straight off the back of the first one. I peed on a few sticks (9 in fact) and they were all varying shades of positive. As many of you know, I started bleeding on 6dp5dt so I tested & it was actually very faintly positive. The next morning it had got slightly lighter and I was concerned that this was a chemical pregnancy. The bleeding continued for next next couple of days and stopped at 9dp5dt, at which point the tests had finally started to get darker. I took 10dp5dt as a rest day and didn’t pee on anything and then on 11dp5dt, or OTD, I peed on the official stick and became officially pregnant!

I haven’t bled since, which has helped to calm my nerves enough to think that this could possibly be happening. I would kill for some symptoms right about now though for some reassurance. Hopefully I’ll get the chance to regret saying that! My first scan is booked for a week today at which point I will be 6w2d, so I assume that they will be checking for a heartbeat. If all goes well with that scan I may start to believe!

Infertility impacts the way that we mark the passing years. Birthdays are no longer an opportunity to see friends, get presents & feel loved. They are a reminder of our biological clocks. Christmases roll round and after the first couple of years spent TTC you get tired of hoping that “this time next year there might be a new addition”.

Tomorrow I will be celebrating my 4 year wedding anniversary. In spite of our troubles, these have been 4 good years. Here is a pic of us as a pair of blissfully ignorant 24 year olds, head over heels in love and optimistic for the future:

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At this point I still had 5 months of birth control pills in my possession, I knew that I would not be collecting any more pills at the end of that pack and assumed I’d be pregnant without having to worry too much about when I ovulated.

I ate whatever I want & enjoyed a hectic social life that on the whole, revolved around alcohol & bad food. More proof of that booze guzzling can be seen in a shot taken a little later on in the evening of our wedding reception:

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Since that fun-filled day there have been a lot of tears, many sleepless nights and lots and lots of waiting. We went from excited and optimistic to deflated and depressed. Somehow, through it all we have (just) retained our sanity and (mostly) kept smiles on our faces. We may not get through a bottle of wine with a nice carb-ridden dinner quite as often as we used to, but we have fun. This last pic is from our holiday in April. I have never felt more content in my whole life than I did on that tiny island. It truly was an escape from our infertility woes and it is a memory that I will treasure forever:

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So on our 3 year anniversary we celebrated with our first trip to the IVF hospital to discuss cycle number 1. It makes me a very happy lady to have made actual progress a year later. This has never happened before! On our 4 year anniversary I will be very cautiously, nervously, tentatively, a tiny bit pregnant. No matter what happens, I am going to celebrate this progress as I am the closest that I have ever been to the life that I have always dreamed of.

Wish me luck, I’m so afraid that I’ll wake up and it will all just be a dream!

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24 Comments

Filed under IVF cycle 2

24 responses to “4 years wed, 5 weeks pregnant

  1. K

    Thinking of you!! Positive energy your way!

  2. SubFertileChick

    I am wishing you all the luck in the world my lovely! xxx

  3. I had some spotting scares early on — a little bit at 4, 5, and 6 weeks — and everything turned out fine! We’re 22 weeks tomorrow, and every day I’m more confident this is really happening! Good luck, and fingers crossed!

  4. SEXY! And happy anniversary 🙂 do you have celebratory plans? I often think if I’d have known when I was 23 and getting married that I’d be 30 and still childless it would have ruined my life completely and I wouldn’t have coped at all. In reality we’ve had a really good 7 years inspite of everything and had loads of fun (and LOADS of holidays). I can’t remember what point I was trying to make now. I’ve had a stinking headache for 2 days and I think it’s killed some brain cells (uh oh). Anyways, happy anniversary again Mrs xxx

    • Yeah ignorance really is bliss! I hear you on the holidays! If I’d been duffed right away I would have avoided the lows but there have also been some incredible highs! I speak IVF-addled English so I totally get what you’re saying. We’ll go out for dinner tonight, hubs will drink too much and I’ll stay sober and be really, really happy about it xxx

  5. Happy wedding anniversary! You looked gorgeous on both pic! What a beautiful to present to be a little bit pregnant for this birthday 😉 try to relax (easy to say, I know) and enjoy! xx

  6. You are pregnant until proved otherwise. Enjoy every moment of the next 8 months 🙂

    • Howdy stranger! How are you? I was thinking about you the other day and how I hadn’t heard anything in months. You are right. Hubs made me promise to start living in the moment a bit and enjoy being pregnant while it lasts, whether that’s 5 mins or 9 months. I’m doing my best! X

  7. Sending you all the luck in the world from the opposite side of the Earth.

  8. What a wonderful way to celebrate a fourth anniversary for a beautiful young couple! I’m so happy for you two.

    Mr. A and I celebrated our third anniversary last month renewing our vows on a beach at sunrise while we were on vacation. It was something that was sorely needed after the trials/tribulations of our infertility struggles. With any luck, if this IVF cycle takes, my husband and I will be celebrating our fourth anniversary with a snuggly brand-new baby in our arms. I guess we never stop with those “this time next year” thoughts.

    • Oh how lovely. I had also considered renewing our vows, they just somehow seem to mean more after battling with infertility. I re-read the poem that my friend read at our ceremony earlier and it brought tears to my eyes as it seems to hold so much more meaning now. I may post it later.

      I really hope that that is precisely how you get to celebrate your 4th anniversary xxx

  9. Wishing you a super healthy pregnancy and so much luck for the months ahead!! 🙂

    P.s Happy Anniversary!

  10. Congratulations on your anniversary AND pregnancy! Sending lots of good vibes for the months to come!!!
    Love,
    Maddy

  11. I cannot tell you how happy I am to see this! I really needed good news today. Success for you means hope for all of us. Wishing you the very, very best!! xoxo

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