I am writing this from the (dis)comfort of my bed. The windows are wide open, I am stark bollock naked (sorry!) & a fan is pointed directly at me on full blast. London is experiencing a heat wave like never before. My train journey home from work was the sweatiest experience of my life. We (Brits) seriously need to think long and hard about installing aircon in our public transport system.
The last couple of weeks have been a wonderful blur of exhaustion, nausea & hunger.
At 8w2d just before I went to bed I noticed the tiniest dot of brown on the toilet paper when I wiped and I spent some time trying to decide if it was a dot on the roll or it had come out of me. I decided it was nothing to do with me and thought nothing more of it. The following afternoon the same thing happened again while I was at work. At this point I had had no progesterone for 5 days & I was slightly concerned that I had been taken off it too early. I decided to leave work immediately & go straight to the early pregnancy unit at my local hospital. They did a quick (external!!!) ultrasound scan and confirmed all is well with the baby. Phew. My sister came in with me and got to see the heartbeat and sobbed uncontrollably. Very cute.
In very exciting news a REAL LIFE FRIEND is pregnant. It is VERY early days but she is the only person that I know IRL that has had any sort of fertility issues so we keep each other up to date with our progress. I couldn’t be happier for her. Long story short, it took her just under a year to fall pregnant. All was looking great at the 12wk scan with baby measuring on the 50th percentile. So she started telling people her news. At 13w5d she was rushed to A&E as her pregnancy was ectopic & her tube had ruptured. They just failed to notice this at her 12 weeks scan. The odds of an ectopic pregnancy making it this far are 1 in 30,000. The odds of this subsequent pregnancy being ectopic are 1 in 10. I’m holding my breath until her early scan at 6 weeks to confirm the location of this pregnancy. I feel good about it though, and I truly hope to be her bump buddy.
IVF and pregnancy loss leave people damaged and unable to enjoy pregnancy in the blissful ignorance that most of society can enjoy. We met for lunch the day after her BFP and promised each other that we would live more in the moment and enjoy each second of our pregnancies as if they’re our last. So right now I am enjoying it. It’s truly amazing. I feel dreadful most of the time and am prone to complain about the more unusual symptoms – like the fact that my left ear constantly needs to pop?! – however, I had started to believe that a child wasn’t in our future and actually the cause of all of this is a tiny little person created by me and my husband. I could not be happier, and I am so, so grateful.