I promise to update this blog regularly from now on.
When I first received the severe male factor diagnosis in 2011 I spent days at my desk pretending to work but in actual fact I was trawling the Internet for IVF blogs. My favourite ones were those that had similar problems to mine and then ended up with a baby. I learned not to fear IVF through reading about people’s experiences with it. I learnt so much and took so much from these blogs, they were an invaluable resource and they filled me with hope. If these women can get a happy ending then maybe one day I will too.
When the time came to start my own IVF treatment it seemed only fair that I should start my own blog and document my experience for others to learn from and refer to. It felt like giving something back to a community that I had taken so much from. And then my first cycle failed. And the depression hit. Big time. That was not conducive to blogging. And then I started cycle number 2 on a longer protocol and double the dosage. That was a very dark time. Again, not conducive to blogging.
And then I got pregnant. And I had all of these thoughts and feelings and emotions and I needed to let them out but I just couldn’t bring myself to write them as I didn’t want to upset anyone who is still in the trenches. I didn’t want to inadvertently complain about something and cause upset to a reader. But actually, this needs to be my story, start to finish. So I will document this pregnancy for posterity but also so that one day someone with severe male factor infertility, severe endometriosis, mild PCOS with one failed cycle under their belt who is almost incapable of making blastocysts will stumble across this blog and they will feel hope. If it can happen for me, it can happen for them. The only good quality blastocyst I have ever made has stuck it out this far. Let’s hope that it stays around for another 33 weeks.
I had my second scan yesterday at 7w2d and the baby is doing good. Scan pics will be posted here.
I was discharged from the IVF unit yesterday and I stop the progesterone tomorrow. Shit is seriously getting real. The depression is lifting and I am over the moon and so in love. Stick baby stick, mummy loves you so much already. X