Tag Archives: pumpkin

Pumpkin Smackdown 2013 – the Results Show!!!

It’s the moment that you’ve all been waiting for, the highlight of the year, the reason you got out of bed this morning. I am about to announce the winners of the #IFPumpkinSmackdown 2013!

If you don’t know what I’m talking about (Who are you? Where have you been?!) you can read all about it here and you can read about some of the awesome prizes on offer here and here.

This totally awesome competition was the brain child of Barren Betty and Fertility Doll and I am honoured to have been named “Grand High Judge and Priestess”.

There were 36 entries in total… yep, you read that right, thirty six. Each and every single entry was absolutely brilliant. I hope that you all had as much fun carving them as I did judging. If you haven’t seen Betty’s post from last night, which showcased all 36 entries with some hilarious commentary from BB and FD, head on over there now. I’ll wait… No really, go and have a look.

When I saw the entries start to roll in I knew I would need to enlist the help of my family as my decision making skills are non-existent. So, without further ado, I give to you our verdict:

1. Lamest Pumpkin

This category sounded like a laugh and a joke at first but when it came to judging there just weren’t any lame pumpkins. Until…

infertility, pumpkin, endometriosis, ivf
@subfertilechick‘s entry made the whole Turtle family laugh out loud… but it’s a pretty lame pumpkin!

2. WTF Award

This was a very competitive category. @cantchoosewhen‘s entry is undeniably awesome. But it’s blue. And it has shoes. And wings. And a plaster on it’s head. And you can’t put a candle in it. So WTF is it? Art. That’s what. Art that gets a prize for making us all smile.

infertility, ivf, pumpkin

3. Best Infertility / Fertility Pumpkin Award

Again, this category was soooooo strong, it was almost impossible to choose. You’ll notice that the remaining categories are all won by infertility-related pumpkins. You guys have some mad carving skills but what you really excelled at was the back stories. And with that I give to you The Mutant Uterus:

infertility, pumpkin, ivf, mutant uterus

For those that didn’t see the backstory on this one, hop over to Eli’s blog post and check it out. Bring it indeed.

4. Best expression in show

This category came down to 2 pumpkins with awesome facial expressions. It was neck and neck. In the end Betty’s pumpkin pipped the other entry to the post due to the fact that she had sculpted her current mental state. I think we’ve all felt like this in those painfully long gaps between appointments and treatment:

infertility, ivf, pumpkin

Good work Betty, picking a category you knew you could win. Clever.

5. Almost won award

Picking this pumpkin took about 95% of our time last night. We narrowed it down to 10 and then Mr Turtle devised a complex scoring system a bit like the Formula One that he thought would help. It didn’t. Instead it got my dad ranting about how we could end up with a first place that none of us were individually that bothered about. I managed to steer him away from the route he was obviously about to go down re politics & philosophy and back to the drawing board we went. We narrowed it down again & got to the last 4 pumpkins. At this point we had to facetime a friend of my sister’s & get her in on the action. When I didn’t agree with her I decided as Grand High Judge and Priestess that her vote didn’t count anyway. She isn’t even a part of the Turtle family. I rudely ended the conversation before she steered it onto the cute kitty that she’d bought that day and we moved on. The winning pumpkin was the only pumpkin to get 2 first place votes (me and my dad, the philosopher) it’s infertility related, and it is beautiful:

infertility, ivf, pumpkin

@Theinfernalone‘s entry is beautifully carved and seriously awesome. Check out the backstory here.

And finally…

*drum roll*

…What you’ve all been waiting for…

The Grand Winner of Pumpkin Smackdown 2013 is…

*cut to commercial break*

*cut back to me, Immotile Turtle, dressed in a sparkly red dress with a plunging neckline & far too much boob on show*

As I was saying, the Grand Winner of Pumpkin Smackdown 2013 is


infertility, ivf, pumpkin

You need to click that link. There is a whole storyboard. It starts off cutesy and light with a video & pictures of her nieces and nephews and then BAM picture 4 hits you right in the face. At this point in the judging my sister burst out crying and couldn’t reign it back in for a minute or two. I’m pretty sure my dad’s eyes were moist. That 4th picture is the story of each and every one of us here at some point in our lives, we’ve all been there, we all know how much it hurts and we all just want our little Pumkinis. Congratulations to @NewtoIVF, a worthy winner.

Well done you guys, this was totally amazing, and such a brilliant way to spend Halloween.

Betty is off on her holibobs now but will be in touch to arrange prizes on her return. Enjoy!


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